What Happened Next…

So to continue from the last entry, my date paid our bill and the two of us were playing a little game of asking questions.  After a few back and forth, he looked at me and asked me how I was feeling.

I still wasn’t sure if I was ready or wanting to fuck him.  First of all, it was already late.  Second, he was cute and super charming and smart, but I didn’t have that feeling of having my heart skip-a-beat and “know” I wanted to fuck him.  So I told him that I would like to sit in his car and kiss for a while and save the sex for another time.  He said that sounded great, so we agreed to leave the bar and go to his car.

Once inside, we made sure we were in a dark area of the parking lot and started with a nice soft, intense lip lock.  I melted.  He was such a great kisser.  We kissed for a really long time.  At one point, he held my face between his hands and just focused his lips on mine.  I ran my fingers through his soft, sexy curls and pulled them just a little bit.  I carefully teased my hand over his shorts where his cock was straining the fabric and zipper at his fly.  The longer I kissed him, the more I found myself thinking I should have allowed him to take me to a hotel.   I dropped my head into his lap and teased his hard cock with my face and lips through the fabric of his shorts.  He held his hands on the back of my head with just the right amount of pressure.  Nothing forceful at all.  It was as though his carefully placed hands were silently begging me not to stop.

After a bit, I laid down on the seat and allowed him to take the lead.  While I had my head in his lap, he had unhooked my bra, so my breasts were free and he carefully lifted my shirt to suck on my excited nipples.  Then he started playing with my clit through my jeans.  Once again, I was kicking myself for telling him we should save the sex for next time.  I wanted to have sex with this man really badly.  He made me cum inside my jeans and after a while, he unzipped my jeans to give his fingers better access.  He filled my pussy with his fingers and worked my clit until I exploded all over his fingers.  I pulled his hand out so that I could taste myself on him.  Not only did I lick his fingertips, but I took each finger into my mouth as deep as I could and I did some gentle biting with my teeth.  I am definitely a biter and may men don’t like it, but my new playmate looked at me and asked me, “Why do I like biting so much?”  That clinched it for me.  I may have met a boyfriend who won’t complain when I inadvertently express my orgasmic pleasure with my teeth.

Very fun.  I left the parking lot with a smile on my face, smelling my pheromones wafting through the air as I drove home.  I haven’t yet chose a pseudonym for this potential boyfriend, but maybe by the next time I see him I will have something to call him.

I might be seeing the first Mr. Craigslist tomorrow night for a little late night fun/fuck.  Which means I should get to sleep since I do have to work a full day tomorrow.

Why I Need to Not Answer This Guy’s Messages

I have so many stories and ideas for posts that I feel like I could blog for about 3 months non-stop.  This is a good thing because it (supposedly) means that I won’t run out of things to blog about.   Currently I have three drafts started:

1. I have a post started on probably one of the most common questions people have regarding “the lifestyle.”  That would be the question of STIs.
2. We went to a swingers gathering last night, so I have a post about that as well.
3. I am also starting a page which discusses my playmate philosophy.

Those posts will have to remain unfinished right now, because I need to blog/journal about a certain guy and my responses to him.  MrTallBaldnHandsome and I first began corresponding a little less than a year ago.  He and his girlfriend were listed on Lifestyle Lounge’s booty call list on a Friday night looking to meet a couple for some drinks.   We thought they were cute, so we sent them a reply giving our (my) cell phone number.   He texted me, and the two of us texted back and forth several times throughout the afternoon trying to set something up for that night.  There already seemed to be some kind of chemistry there between the two of us.  As it turned out, a meeting for that night wasn’t going to work out for them after all.  No biggie.   Soon after, some things changed with their profile, so we just moved on and didn’t think anything of it.

A few months later, I met his girlfriend at a bar and somehow got to talking about what a hottie her boyfriend (MrTallBaldnHandsome) was.  She seemed pleased and told me that I should definitely email him.  Well no need to, because he emailed me by the next morning.  He and I began a little bit of texting back and forth and it seemed like there was some very nice chemistry happening (again).  Within a day or two, we were texting quite a bit and getting to know each other.  My husband was leaving town for the weekend, so I met the couple for dinner one night and the three of us went to a bar meet.

Long story short, he and I hit it off and enjoyed texting on pretty much a daily basis for a while.  We got together a couple times for some playtime and it was really fun.  We were compatible sexually and enjoyed talking/cuddling together.  There were probably some issues then, but I guess I was able to ignore them or work around them.   Lately though, this guy is driving me bonkers with the way he deals with me.  I don’t know what’s going on with him, his relationship with his girlfriend, or whatever, but I must stop contacting him!

Here is the most recent example, which is pretty typical of the way our text exchanges have been going lately.  On Wednesday night I get a text asking what I’m up to and when I respond (about an hour after the inital text), he asks if I want to get a hotel room with him that night.   It’s not really a very convenient night for me (especially since I had just played with MrBadBoy that morning), but I checked in with my hubby anyway.  After talking it over with my hubby, I told MrTallBaldnHandsome that I would love to see him, engage in some kissing and cuddling (his word, not mine), but probably wouldn’t be in the mood for sex.  There were a couple reasons for this:  #1) I had just had an intensely satisfying playdate that morning, #2) My last playdate with MrTallBaldnHandsome wasn’t that thrilling.  #3) I was wanting to actually TALK to the dude and figure out why our im and text messaging patterns had changed so dramatically as of late.

He (of course) said that would be fine, he always says it doesn’t matter if we have sex.  He is supposedly happy just cuddling (again, his word, not mine.)  He then suggested that we meet at a hotel in a suburb WAY closer to his place than mine.  (We live about an hour apart.)   When I suggested something a bit more halfway, he balked and said it wouldn’t give us enough time.  “Let’s wait until the weekend when I will be home alone and have a bunch of free time.”  Great, I said!  Make some plans for us.  Friday night would be great.

The following night (Thursday), he texts me again asking if I want to come have a drink with him in a suburb that is even further away than the one he lives in!  I was on my way out with my hubby, and gave MrTallBaldnHandsome a taste of his own medicine by asking if he wanted to drive down, pick me up, and take me to my car.  Yeah, it was an obnoxious request, but so was asking me to drive all the fuck the way up to where he was “alone watching the game.”  In any case, we decided against hooking up on Thursday and again, I mentioned that my Friday night was free.  At this point he tells me that he’s not sure about Friday because he might be going out of town.  Fine, no problem.  Just keep me posted, I tell him.

Friday.  I was online Friday afternoon and sent him an IM which got no response (other than him immediately logging out).  By about 5:30 on Friday, I still hadn’t heard from him, so I sent him a quick text asking what’s up for the night.  “Are you going out of town or not?”  NO RESPONSE!  ZERO!  NOTHING.

Saturday. Nothing.

Sunday. Nothing.

What the fuck?  Really?  I mean if you don’t want to go out, fine, just say so.  If you were super horny on Wednesday, but just aren’t anymore, fine, just say so.  Don’t, however, just ignore me and then expect me to be at your beck and call the next time you need to get your rocks off.  I’m not here to be some silly girl needing constant attention, but I also don’t appreciate being ignored when we have potential plans.  If you need or want to cancel, FINE!  I’m not gonna freak out.  It’s when you just completely disregard the fact that we talked about getting together.

The worst part is, this isn’t the first time he’s done this to me!  One other time, I did give him a pretty good piece of my mind, and he got really nice and attentive for a while after that, but here we are again.  It really bothers me that I have somehow given him the impression that I am still interested in fucking someone who leads me on and ignores me.   I’m like super into him.  He’s sweet, sexy, quiet, and has a killer smile.  He smells good and has really nice arms.  But all these things are blinding me to several issues I have with him.  The stuff I’ve already typed, but also stuff like telling me I should act in a certain way when I’m out in public or telling me that he wants me to be more clean shaven (I keep a pretty nice welcome mat).  It’s time to just cut it out.  There are plenty of fish in the sea who don’t live over an hour away, who know how to be at least somewhat polite, who don’t have some sort of expectation that I will be available to come to them whereever the fuck they might be.

I haven’t yet had the guts to do it, but I really think I need to just remove him from my phone and my IM so that I can’t initiate contact.  Then if he contacts me, just let it go unanswered.  Until or unless he asks me what’s wrong or if I am upset or something.  (See how I am?  Already trying to find a way around the communication moratorium.)

Well I suppose we’ll see what happens.  Try to determine if I am strong/smart enough to move on.  It’s crazy, I tell ya!  And to think, I’m a pretty low key gal as far as this stuff seems to go.

How Often is too Often? — The Perfect Swinging Schedule

Swinging is a funny world. By definition, we are all in this lifestyle because sex is fun and we want the freedom to explore our sexuality both within and outside our marriage. However, there is this odd sort of judgment that happens when people think that others are too “slutty.” Like most things in the world, you will always find people who are playing more often than you are and those who are playing less often. We have friends, a couple, who play way more often than we ever would want to. Sometimes my husband and I find ourselves judging them and asking ourselves how they could possibly play what seems like nearly every night of the week. I try so hard to remember that there may be other couples who think that my husband and I play too often or perhaps that our style isn’t right because not only do we play in separate rooms, but we go out on separate dates as well. This lifestyle shouldn’t be about judgment. The couple in question is completely on the same page WITH EACH OTHER and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter what my husband and I or anyone else thinks.

Now, if there is a discrepency WITHIN the marriage regarding the frequency of play, then that is something to talk about. We have had so many discussions about what place swinging has in our lifestyle and how often we should or want to be playing. I admit that when we first took the plunge last July, I wanted to go out at least one night each weekend (either Friday or Saturday night). That isn’t to say that I expected to have sex every single time, but I wanted to be out and be seen and get to know people and hopefully at least most of the time have some sex at the end of the night. The other thing that comes into play is that once I play, I find that I really want to play again very soon. Sex has always been a lot like exercise for me; the longer I go without, the easier it is to continue to go without, but once you get some, you want more very soon. So hubby and I were going through these phases where we would play over the weekend and I would be feeling ready for another play date by about Tuesday, while my husband would feel like he could wait at least a couple weeks or more for our next “swinging escapade.”

Our frequency has greatly reduced over the past year as the newness of swinging has worn off. Things have equalized a bit for us and we are able to keep life a bit more in balance than maybe we were able to in the beginning. I have had two playdates during each of the last three months (August, September, and October). Those six playdates break down as follows: one couples date where we did a same room-full swap, one mfm (male-female-male) with hubby and a new guy, and 2 one-on-one playdates each with two of my favorite playmates. Hubby says his ideal schedule for us is to have 0-3 playdates per month, so I am falling right in line with that. We are both feeling ready for another playdate soon and it’s possible that hubby will get his chance this weekend and with one of his favorite playmates!! Keeping my fingers crossed for him.