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A little Love and Exposure

Hey all you hotties,

We just wanted to make everyone aware that as of today’s (9/22/09) Gentle Nibbles implementation all posts posted on active blogs on the FreeSwingersBlog.com network will appear on the front page of www.gentlenibbles.com. 

This should hopefully give some of our great new writers some exposure and send some new readers your way. 

The order in which they appear is simply chronological with the most recent post on top.  If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to give us a shout!

~thenibblers

This blog will be about our adventure in the Lifestyle

Hello, we’re ABCMAN and ABCWOMAN, and we are often called ABCCOUPLE by our friends in the Salt Lake lifestyle scene.  Our adventure began many years ago when we were watching a John Stossel interview of a swingers bar somewhere in the South (USA).  Well from there we slowly began our journey into the sexy world of swinging.

As I had stated, it began many years ago with a television report on this mysterious phenomenon called swinging, or the lifestyle.  In the beginning it kind of both freaked us out and interested us at the same time.  We both come from rigid religious backgrounds so the transformation took some time.  From watching soft porn shows on Cinemax, to fantasizing while making love to one another about having sex with others.  Then it moved to watching each other with others, and finally three years ago I came across a local swingers website.  (swingular.com)

At first I (male) signed up for my own account.  My wife didn’t know about it at this point and I only wanted to see what the hell it was all about.  What I didn’t realize is that my wife knew all about tracking URL sites on our PC, and soon had logged into the site herself.   What surprised me even more was that she was interested in the site as well.   This of course started a whole new round of discussing the reality of actually trying the lifestyle.

We also came across a rather popular podcast on Itunes, called Swingercast.  Soon John and Alley’s adventures further inflamed the desire to check this Lifestyle thing out.  About that time I was scheduled to attend a conference in Vegas for the industry I worked for at the time.  So I worked it out that she could visit me half way through the conference.  That weekend in Vegas we had our first experience with girl on girl action at a local strip club.  ABCWOMAN and the stripper had allot of fun (as much as you can legally) and then we booked it back to our hotel room to fuck like in heat teenagers.  The next night as directed by our stripper friend the night before, dropped in at the Green Door in Vegas.  This turned out to not be as thrilling as we thought, and perhaps in some ways we were not ready yet for that type of club.  So back to Utah we drove, excited about our weekend and looking forward to future parties.

The Utah scene is actually pretty hot in terms of swingers.  Everyone is surprised to realize what a healthy and vibrant community of swingers there are in Utah.  I think it’s because of the over whelming influence of the LDS church on this community.  Called it rebellion against preceived sexual repression, the Swingers in Utah are fast growing community.

We soon found ourselves getting more involved in the local meet and greets and private party’s.  And as we grew more comfortable with the whole concept, the opportunity to actually meet our first couple or single was quickly becoming more of a reality.  Contrary to what many think, swinging is not like a drive up fast food window.  It’s not as easy as some of my vanilla buddies seem to think and we found it frustrating at times in terms of meeting people that may want to take things to a sexual level.

Finally, after two years of attending party’s we finally had our proverbial cherry popped. Our first experience was with a single male, and the experience actually exceeded our expectations in some area’s and not so much in others.  The whole idea was HOT!  Performance anxiety was not a factor, but later after we talked I realized that my wife though enjoying the experience did not orgasm.  This we found to be the case again the next time we hooked with a couple.  The reality is when you mix ALLOT of alcohol and 40 year old bodies, it can often lead to a number of difficulties.  Blue pill can help, but it’s still not the same as being stone sober.

One thing we’re realizing with first time encounters with another couple or single, is that the first experience can often be exciting but not as full filling as our own sexual encounters.  Speaking to one of our friends, he suggested that the reason could be a number of issues, psychological, emotional, and often even sex in our own cases did not get real HOT until we knew each others wants and desires better.  This led to our discussion regarding how to communicate better with our lover during the act and how it could make a major difference in terms of fulfillment.

We’ve also noticed that swinging can dominate your weekends, and if you allow it to do so, dominate your life.  Like everything in life, moderation is the answer, and one that you absolutely need if you want to participate in the Lifestyle.  It is also a game of patience as well, and those whom don’t know how to be patient may rethink their commitment to this lifestyle.  Getting two people to connect in terms of time, emotion, sexual attraction is difficult enough.  Try getting 4 people on the same page! it can be a real tough prospect at times.

But the excitement of sharing one of your most intimate activities can be also a huge turnon as well.  We’ve found that our marriage has actually improved dramatically as well.  The key to this improvement is our communication about sex and our fantasy’s.  We also realize how important OUR relationship is in our marriage, and how important it is to be open and honest with one another.  We also realize that the act of sex is physical and emotional, but the deep emotional side of a relationship is so much more powerful.

We also have grown to appreciate one anothers skills in pleasing on another.  No longer am I thinking in the back of my head that maybe I don’t measure up to other guys.  She now understands that I’m not kidding when I tell she is beautiful.

Swinging/Lifestyle is as one friend of my mind put it, “A total mind fuck”, but if you can handle it, it’s also one of the hottest things you could do as a couple.

BTW- this blog is not going to be planned or scripted.  It’s just going to be our stories and experiences and thoughts about the lifestyle.

Illness and Swinging

 Not unlike anyone else in the world, my husband and I have had some health issues this year.  I write this blog asking this question. How do you feel about swinging with people after they’ve had surgery?  I have alot of dear friends who are anxious for us to be up and running again, so to speak.  I’m also anxious as we’ve been out of the game for a while.  Here’s my issue.  I underwent a hysterectomy, and much to my chagrin, it seems alot of men go, oh my, you have no uterus, I can’t sleep with you anymore. Apalling as it is, it’s true.  So, I figure these are not the people I want to be with anyway.  There are lots of people i haven’t told, but the minute Im naked, they’re gonna ask what that hideous scar is! 

 So I guess I’m just not sure where to start. I still have a few weeks until I’m cleared for take off, but I’m honestly dreading it.  Our first club outing is going to be hard for me, my club clothes really don’t leave much up for guessing.  I’d like to think most people won’t say anything, but I have other scars, and have been left laying in bed alone because of them. Mind you, they’re not horrific giant scars. They’re relatively small and you can’t see them until I’m undressed. Anyway you get the gist. People are mean wah wah wah.  I just don’t see why they have to be.

 So the next time you meet someone, and they have a scar, or dental issues, or a lazy eye….Don’t dismiss them. Even imperfect people are interesting and sexy.  Everyone has a story to tell, and if we don’t listen, what part of life have we missed out on?

Heartache and anger

 I realized today, while flipping through one of my social networking sites, that I still hold a *great*
resentment towards the woman that broke my husbands heart. Yes, he fell in love with her and was yet still in love  with me. At the time, I tried to believe I had no issues with this. I want to be the person who isn’t possessive  and angry, jealous and hatefull.  It’s a big task!  I dealt OK with this affair for a little while, but the moment  I was cut out of it, I had big issues. It’s something I have to work on. Our marriage isn’t based on who possesses who, or who does what, but a mutual understand and trust.  This makes sense in our world. It’s logical. My brain  knows it to be true. My heart, is a different subject all together. I want nothing more than to be the center of his world occasionally.Not all the time, that would really get annoying.  But just, sometimes. I want him to understand me and know why I say and do the things I do. That’s alot to hope for, huh.

 Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  I thought that I had let the anger go, and that she had moved on her way to a better life for her. Unfortunately, every time I see her name, I feel so angry.  And it’s not because she took over my husbands life for a few months, not because he cared so deeply for her. It’s because she broke his heart into a million pieces. Because she chewed him up and spit him out in the garbage. Because he wasn’t worth enough to her to even speak to again.  How could she? He’s an amazing man, and I don’t know why any woman on this earth would not want to know him, love him, be with him.  I always feel lucky that he picked me to be with. I’m just not sure she wasn’t doing for “what’s in it for me” purposes. I hate to sound vindictive, but I always feel like she was trying to get something. Steal him? No not at all. He’d drive her crazy after a short while. I think she wanted to see just how much they could get away with.  I think she didn’t even know what she was doing. We call it “shopping”. Unconciously, or so I hope, she was miserable in her marriage and was looking for a way out. I think that my husband was the first step to her realizing that.
 
  So, looking at it from that perspective, I suppose he helped her. Alot. Does that make me less angry?
NO.  I still don’t want to hear her name, or see her face. I don’t want to talk about her, or the things we did
together. I don’t want her to call or text me. I just want it to disappear.  Now here’s the real kicker.
They did this. They fell in love with eachother, with no threat to the other’s spouses. Great right? In a perfect
world that would be the way things worked.  What happened between them, made me pull away from the best friend I’ve ever had. A man I’ve known for years and care deeply for. I can’t care about him the way I used to. Not after how she treated my husband. I’ve given up a friendship that was around before my husband, a relationship that meant very much to me for a very long time, a man I know inside and out. Because she broke my husbands heart.
  Isn’t it funny how life happens? I suppose when you live the lifestyle we do, you run this risk everytime you
meet someone. Be carefull who you open your heart to.  Even married people can be heartbreakers.